


Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

by SardonicMallow



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3RACHA, Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Domestic Violence, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Homelessness, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jeongin has a cat, M/M, Multi, OT9 - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Separation Anxiety, The cat is literally all he has until the boys show up, Violence, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric, implied/referenced eating disorder, malnourished jeongin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 19:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17008029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SardonicMallow/pseuds/SardonicMallow
Summary: "Are you all alone out here, baby?"orJeongin is on the streets after his parents kicked him out.





	1. Conditional Love

"Get out! Get out of this house right now."

"Mom pleas-"

"No, you are absolutely disgusting." Jeongin's mom turned away from the shaking boy and hid her face in her hands, "How could I have not seen it earlier.."

"Mom-"

"Don't call me that you disgusting fag. Pack your shit up and get gone. I don't want to see you again." 

Jeongin started crying.

"I won't hesitate to call your father home. Imagine how angry he'll be when he finds out. When I tell him that his son is a freak."

Oh god, Jeongin couldn't take another beating right now. His whole left side was covered in bruises and his stomach layered in lash marks.

"I-I'll leave."

"Ah, that's what I thought." 

Jeongin made his way upstairs, eyeing his bedroom door and all the marks that it bore. Some from his father and some from age. Could this be the last time he sees it? And is that such a bad thing?

Of course Jeongin doesn't want to be near his father anymore, but where would he stay? He didn't have friends and all relatives cut off his family after his parents leeched too much.

The streets couldn't be that bad compared to here.

Jeongin cracked open his baby blue piggy bank, only enough for a few meals at the dollar store.

To the closet. Jeongin grabbed the warmest hoodie he could find as well as a few toiletries. The last thing he needed was to find Missy.

Missy was a three year old calico cat. She rarely left Jeongin's side when he was home, however she couldn't be found at the moment. 

He searched under beds and in his open dressers. 

"Missy? Come on girl, we have to leave!"

Jeongin couldn't help but wonder what would happen to his companion without him to watch over her. He has raised Missy since she was a kitten. Often shielding her from her father's vicious attacks with his body. Missy had repaid him with her soft fur and gentle head bumps during panic attacks. He liked their system. 

"I'll look downstairs" Jeongin whispered to himself. But how long would he have until his mother got sick of waiting.

A shriek pulled him of his thoughts,

"If you don't take this pest with you, i'm going to kill it."

Jeongin walked down the stairs with his backpack to see his mother holding her arm while staring daggers into a cornered creature. She must've been scratched.

Jeongin scooped Missy up and made his way toward the door.

"Uh, well... I'm sorry..mom." 

Silence followed him out of the house.

Jeongin was now homeless.

 

And on the other side of the city, 

"Our first house together! Now we don't have to be so far apart all the time " Woojin smiled.

"And I have another special surprise for you!" Chan beamed.

"I hope it's a game room." Felix said with a cheeky smile.

Chan gave him an 'are you serious' look before pecking him on the cheek.

"No, felix. It's a different surprise. You can have a game room later."

Felix looked shocked before squealing and running into Jisung's arms.

Jisung squealed right along with him. 

"Alright, so basically Jisung, Changbin, and I have gotten this whole week off so we were planning on spoiling you in the city. But- uh- only if you guys wanted to." Chan rushed.

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Chan's waist and chuckled, "Of course we do, cutie. Although... I wanna spoil you too."

Chan blushed madly and sprinted inside.

All the boys laughed.

"He tries to hard too hide his shy side." Minho smirked, "I like his blush." 

Everyone agreed and walked inside.

"Gosh it's cold out. I hate Novembers." Changbin sighed.

"Why?" Minho asked.

"It makes me sad. It's the part of fall when the leaves decompose and rain plagues. The days get shorter and everything is cold to the touch. I prefer Spring, everything blooms and there are sooo many colours!" 

Chan peeped his head out of where he was hiding, "How do you write songs with such little effort. Get a pen, Changbin. Write that down."

"I could also show you some lyrics I wrote about you." Changbin flirted.

"Get out!"

 

"Get out!" The voice wouldn't leave Jeongin's head. His mother was never close to him, frankly she helped his father in the abuse, but Jeongin was still upset. To make things worse, he was mad at himself for being upset. He knew it's good he left, but his subconscious was still longing for the woman she used to be. When she would take him on ice cream dates after preschool was let out for the day, when she would bake brownies and let Jeongin lick the bowl. Where did it all go wrong? When his mother's gazes turned to glares and his father's hugs turned to hits. He must've done something to cause it.

It started to rain. Well fuck. Jeongin leaned over Missy to protect her and started to run. He had no final destination, but maybe he could find a bus stop to sit under. 

Jeongin hated the winter rains. Jeongin hated winter in general. As soon as October would end, so did his happiness. It was always so dark out, and it seemed his father would stay home longer. Winter was a time when his wounds wouldn't get a break to heal. 

The rain was getting worse now. Jeongin was practically begging for it not to storm. 

Before long, Jeongin found a semi-dry spot underneath a staircase. It was in a darker alley, but Jeongin wasn't about to judge. He needed shelter now.

Missy let out a distressed meow and Jeongin tucked her into his hoodie more.

"I know you want to come out, but you'll freeze." Jeongin said as his lips trembled. He rested his head on his backpack and drifted off to sleep.

Jeongin didn't expect to wake up to shouting, he'd assumed he'd left it all at home, but here he was.

Turns out, he had set up camp under the stairs of a very angry man's restaurant.

Jeongin was delirious from sleep, he couldn't make out the man's words, but he got the message.

He packed his bag up and left quickly.

"Okay....." He shifted Missy, "Let's get you some food."


	2. Missy is a Great Conversation Starter

"Woah!" Chan gasped, "look at that dog! Lix, look!" The man-child pointed over to what looked like a doberman and giggled.

It was great when they could all spend time together like this and gush over each other's unplanned cuteness.

"You're too cute!" Felix laughed.

Chan's cheeks turned red.

"Okay boys, stop teasing. Let's go grab a bag of walnuts from the store so Jisung will stop complaining about "feeding the squirrels" and being a dork." Seungmin pinched the other's cheek.

"Hey!" Jisung pouted, "City squirrels are much friendlier than ours back home!"

So off the group went. The nearest store was only a block away.

When they reached the door, all boys grabbed a basket and went their separate ways. Divide and conquer is what they called their shopping trips.

 

And entering the store only a few minutes later: Jeongin. Cat food tucked safely in his bag and two crumpled dollars in his hand. He only slept on the street for one night, but he still looked dirty. A bruise laid on his left cheek and his hair was unkempt. The baggy sweater he was wearing had holes in it and Missy's head was poking out. He had looked homeless before he'd even left his house. No one had cared for him or bought him any necessities. Jeongin had found most of his clothes in the attic. Heck, Jeongin had to walk to orthodontist and pay for tightenings himself. The young boy never really had anyone except Missy.

Maybe he had enough for a cheap protein bar. That would tide him over for a while. 

Jeongin started walking through aisles, avoiding the stares of others by staring at his feet.

However, he was so focused on his feet that he didn't notice he was about to run into another person.

"Ouch!" A smooth voice made Jeongin's head snap up fast.

"I'm so sorry, sir! I didn't mean too!" He gushed.

The man smiled "It's fine, don't worry! And, uh you can Call me Chan if you want."

Jeongin couldn't help but notice the dimples on the man that mirrored his own. A smile etched onto Jeongin's face.

"I'm J-Jeongin, and..." Jeongin debated showing Missy to the other, but he must have been wondering what the lump in his jacket is, "This is Missy.."

Chan's eyes wided, "Can I hold her? Please, she's so cute!"

Jeongin was weary. What if Chan dropped her? Or ran away with her in his arms?

"I'll be careful, I promise!" Chan's shyness was quickly disappearing quickly with the promise of hugging a cuddly creature.

Jeongin unzipped his hoodie and handed Chan his friend. Chan gave Jeongin a concerned stare when seeing his protruding ribs through a thin tank top, but Jeongin didn't notice.

"What's going on here?" A voice erupted behind Jeongin.

The boy jumped, a small squeak left his lips and he rushed to hide behind Chan.

"Hi, Woojinnie! This is Jeongin! A-And he was just letting me hold his cat, Missy!"

Woojin's eyes shifted to look behind Chan. Jeongin could tell he was being judged.

"Well, Jisung found what he needed. We're leaving now." 

"Oh," Chan slowly handed Missy back to Jeongin, "Um, alright." 

"Chan waved goodbye and Jeongin used Missy's paw to wave back.

Chan could feel his heart flutter. He pulled away from Woojin's grasp, "Can I have your phone number? I wanna be friends."

Fuck. Jeongin didn't have a phone. He really didn't want to say goodbye to Chan just yet, "Uh, I-I just switched my number, so I don't know it that well. A-And I left my phone at home. Can I have yours?" 

Chan smiled before taking his phone out and a pen. He reached for Jeongin's arm. 

Of course Jeongin just had to flinch. 

"O-Oh, I'm so sorry." Jeongin pulled his sleeve up, careful to hide the lines that rested just an inch up his arm.

Chan smiled, this time with some awkwardness, Woojin's face was getting more and more suspicious as the minutes ticked.

Chan wrote his number down and left. Jeongin sighed and pat Missy's head, he would likely never meet the sweet man again. And who was with him? A brother? A boyfriend? Whoever he was, he didn't like Jeongin. Or maybe he was just worried.

Jeongin looked at the prices of protein bars and sighed.

He didn't have enough.

 

The sun was low, it had been only slightly warmer that day. Jeongin was still grateful. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but right now the teen had to focus on being safe for the night.

Jeongin patrolled a few alleys, observing the best places to come back in a dark to rest. 

One was particularly favourable. 

A wall with eroded bricks big enough for a small boy like him to fit. Jeongin stopped growing when he reached 5'4. He doesn't know whether it was from malnutrition or his biology, but right now it came in handy.

He inched himself into the hole and unzipped his backpack. 

Missy started to eat out of Jeongin's hand with soft purrs.

A fond look covered Jeongin's face just before he noticed the numbers sticking out from his sleeve. 

He felt really guilty. He didn't want to think about how Chan would feel when he realized Jeongin wouldn't call. No, he couldn't do that to him. 

There was a payphone not far from here. Should he do it? 

Fuck it.

He packed his bag and picked Missy up.

He took out a quarter and popped it into the machine.

"Chan?"

 

"Hello? Who's this?"

Seven boys turned their head toward Chan.

"Yeah, that would be great! Okay, see you then. Bring Missy!" Chan hit end call.

Woojin groaned, "Was that Jeongin?" 

"Yep, we're hanging out at a coffee shop downtown tomorrow!"

Of course Woojin told the others about the filthy boy with a cat at the store. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't.

"Honey, I don't think that's a good idea.." Minho said softly, trying not to offend the older.

"What, why?" Chan said, the boy had been nothing but nice.

"Chan did you even look at him?" Woojin rubbed Chan's hand, "He looked like he was part of some gang or something. He had a bruise on his cheek and he was completely disheveled."

Chan pouted, "You barely talked to him, and what happened to don't judge a book by it's cover?" 

No one seemed convinced.

"You can come with me. I swear he was really shy when we met and I just want to get to know him." 

"Promise me something," Changbin started, "If we don't like him after we meet, then you won't see him."

Chan knew if he didn't promise this he couldn't go. So, like the liar he is, he agreed.

Something about the boy interested him. Why did he flinch so hard when Chan reached to him? Why was he so skinny? Where did he get that bruise? And most importantly: who brings a cat to a grocery store?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter because I have finals this week, a few presentations, and I haven't slept since friday. Woojin is just being a concerned floof, give him time.


	3. Pouty Baby

"Hey, do you think it's supposed to rain today?" Jeongin asked Missy.

He nodded toward the sky. Clouds were starting to form together. It looked as if the sun was drowning in a sea of gray mashed potatoes. Hey, give him a break, he's hungry.

Speaking of the sun, it looked pretty high. Wasn't there something he was supposed to do today?

Shit, of course. He had to meet Chan! 

Jeongin leaped up from the ground, feeling all his bones crack. 

Missy shrieked; only to be expected when a anxiety filled dwarf tosses you into a hoodie.

"I'm sorry!" Jeongin kissed his friends head and started running.

He reached a street and turned onto the sidewalk, "Excuse me, sir?" 

Jeongin didn't get a response, the man pushed him onto the concrete then wiped where Jeongin tapped him.

Jeongin scolded himself for being a bother, wiped his bleeding nose and got up. 

 

 

"It's supposed to storm today, let's make this quick." Minho grumbled.

Chan pouted and pulled his coat on, "Just give him a chance."

Changbin patted Chan's cheek and pushed the boys out the door.

Felix and Jisung sat on either side of Chan and flirted with him the entire fifteen minute car ride.

When Woojin parked the car, Chan's face was completely red. Jilix had accomplished their mission. 

"We have another ten minutes until noon, let's go in and find a seat." 

Everyone followed Woojin into the cafe.

"Should we order drinks?" Seungmin asked.

"If you guys want to you can, but I'm going to wait for Jeongin.

The others shrugged and went up to the counter.

Chan sat patiently while twirling his thumbs.

He was so focused on winning a thumb war against himself, he didn't see a small boy come into the shop.

"H-Hi, Chan." Jeongin mumbled.

Chan yelped and turned to face the younger, "Geez, you scared me dude."

Jeongin frowned, "Sorry.."

If there was a picture for pure innocence, Chan would bestow it upon Jeongin.

His little frown made Chan's heart flutter and the weak apology made Chan want to protect him.

The little staring contest was interrupted by Woojin, "What happened it your nose?!" 

Jeongin looked like he had been a deer in headlights. He'd assumed he got all the blood off, but apparently not.

"U-Uh, a man pushed me on the way here, but I'm fine, I swear."

He didn't know if Woojin was convinced, but a small sympathetic smile was what the elder returned.

All the boys sat down, Chan made sure Jeongin got the corner seat, so his boyfriends wouldn't make him uncomfortable by sitting next to him.

Chan looked down at Jeongin, he was picking at the dried blood on his sleeves and petting Missy through the opening in his hoodie.

Wait. Missy?

"Missy!" Chan smiled.

Jeongin lifted his friend out of confinement and passed her to Chan.

Minho was staring her down. His lips twitched into some form of smile before leaning over and patting the kitty as well.

"So, what do you want to order?" Chan asked, catching Jeongin in surprise.

"I- uh, nothing it's fine. I'm not really hungry."

"Come on, lets go scan the menu, Minho will watch Missy."

Jeongin was not okay with that, Chan could see it too.

"I promise she'll be fine, Minho reaaaallly likes cats." 

Jeongin nodded, the boys got up to let them out.

Chan and Jeongin walked up to the menu.

While Chan was aiming for something sweet, Jeongin was aiming for something cheap. He only had two dollars to spend, and with tax how could he get anything?

"So? Still not hungry? They've got really good pastries here as well."

"No, I'm fine." Just then, Jeongin's stomach rumbled.

What a snitch.

Chan laughed, "Oh, come on!"

"I only... I only have two dollars."

Chan's smile faded only slightly, but Jeongin could still see it.

"I'll pay for it. I don't mind, just pay me back. Now pick anything, cutie." 

Fuck, Jeongin covered his ears lightly. His blush was hideous in his opinion. He'd never blushed anywhere but the ears.

Chan didn't seem to notice his distress, but did give him a funny look for the way he was covering his ears.

Jeongin peaked at the menu again. Strawberry milk. That's what he wanted.

"So?" Chan egged on a response.

"Nothing."

Chan sighed and looked over to where Jeongin was staring. Suddenly he turned to the counter and rung the bell.

"You can go sit down, I'll be right there."

Jeongin nodded, not wanting Chan to be angry with him.

He quickly shuffled over back to his seat.

The other boys spotted him and stood up to let him in.

After he was situated, he noticed the stares. 

Everyone was looking at him with questioning gazes.

"So..... who exactly are you, kid?" Changbin questioned.

"Yeah, we don't know anything about you."

Jeongin felt bad for not formally introducing himself sooner.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! My name is Yang Jeongin, I'm seventeen and I-" He was about to say he lived on the westside of the city, but... He didn't. Not anymore. He lives everywhere and nowhere now.

Jeongin shut his mouth. The boys noticed he stopped himself from saying something, but no one brought it up.

Felix and Seungmin seemed happy though.

"Seungmin and I are both eighteen! Everyone else here is old."

"Yah!" Woojin slapped Felix's shoulder.

Jeongin was confused. 

"How old is everyone else."

Shit he didn't mean to say that outloud.

Minho looked amused.

"Woojin is twenty one, Chan is twenty, I'm twenty as well, Changbin is nineteen, and those CHILDREN already told you their ages." Minho replied.

Felix and Seungmin pouted.

Just then, Chan returned. He had two cups in hand. Wait, two?

"Here you are," Chan handed a cup to Jeongin, "One strawberry milk for the cutie." Jeongin was having trouble processing what Chan had just said. He missed the looks of jealousy forming on everyone's face and instead smiled. Widely. I'm talking his braces were on full display kinda smile. 

And just like that, the looks were replaced with adoration.

"Dear god, he has braces. I'm literally gonna die, can we keep him?" Felix gushed.

Jisung nodded along with him.

Jeongin was fucked. He was frozen in his spot, he couldn't cover his ears in the short time they bursted with red.

Everyone stared more intently.

"I'm going to combust." Chan said quietly.

Jeongin knocked himself out of the trance. 

"Thank you, Channie." The smaller said as he reached for the cup.

Biiiiiig mistake. 

"He called him Channie. God is testing me." Minho pressed his face into Missy's oblivious body.

Jeongin buried his head in his hoodie sleeves and sipped his strawberry milk with a pout on his face.

Seungmin whispered, "Sweater paws and pouts. A concept I can get behind."

But then of course, a streak of lightning flashed across the mashed potato sky.


	4. Secrets Released

Jeongin could help the cry that escaped his lips. He had always been so terrified of thunderstorms. 

Missy had instantly crawled out of Minho's grasp and trotted over to Jeongin's lap.

The other boys just watched with confused eyes and Jeongin shoved his face into Missy's fur.

"Jeongin what's up?" Changbin sat across from him.

"Nothing I'm-" Thunder came interrupting again.

After watching the boy flinch again, everyone understood what was happening.

"Are you... are you scared of thunder?" Seungmin asked for everyone.

Jeongin hid his face more and nodded.

Everyone cooed at the sight and moved in closer.

Suddenly Jeongin could feel himself being lifted up, he yelped in surprise and looked to see who it was.

Woojin had him in his arms, "Alright, grab your drinks boys. Let's go back to our place for now."

The rumble from Woojin's chest had Jeongin melting into the older. 

Everyone piled into the car and Jeongin stayed placed on Woojin's lap.

Before long, the tiny boy fell asleep, which by far was the best sleep he'd experienced in a very long time.

Woojin took notice and knew it was time to talk to the boys.

"Jeongin is really light. Like alarmingly light. I think the cat weighs more than him. And he's wearing the same outfit he wore last time we saw him. Does anyone have his bag?"

Changbin got a nod from the older to open the bag.

"We'll be home in like five minutes, if you guys wanna hurry up." Minho whispered harshly from the driver's seat.

Changbin quickly unzipped the front of the bag and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Cat food. This pocket has a bag of cat food." Everyone nodded with somewhat of an understanding, not quite getting why he didn't leave it at home. 

Changbin started at the main pocket. He slowly unzipped it and pulled out what looked like another raggedy sweater. He kept digging and found a pair of gloves and two crumpled one dollar bills. Last was the tiny pocket on the side. 

Suddenly a groan came from Jeongin, he raised his hands to his eyes and sat up slowly.

Changbin put everything back in its place and handed the bag to Felix in the backseat.

"Did you sleep well? We're almost there." Woojin asked.

Jeongin's head whipped around to see who had spoken. Almost as if he had forgotten where he was.

He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"We're here." Minho called back. 

Jeongin went to get up and propped Missy on his shoulder, but a hand wrapped around his waist before he could stand.

Great. More blushing.

Suddenly Woojin picked him up and everyone made their way to the stairs.

"I can walk y'know.." Jeongin pouted.

It was only when the front door was open that Jeongin got put down.

"I'm going to start dinner, so it'll be ready in time." Woojin went to the kitchen.

"I'm going to take a nap." Changbin and Minho said at the same time.

"I guess it's us then." Jisung smiled.

Jeongin was suddenly aware of how clean everything was. There were barely any fingerprints on the railings and there was jeongin with dried blood and dirt covering his body. 

"Uh, do you mind if I use your restroom?" His small voice protruded.

"Of course not!" Felix laughed and pointed to a door down the hallway. 

Missy jumped down and sat with Chan and Jeongin grabbed his bag from the table.

Once inside the bathroom, Jeongin took off his hoodie and exposed his thin figure. A few paper towels with soap found their way to his nose and cheeks. He felt rude using their hairbrush, so he left it. The last things to do was clean his wounds and switch his hoodie.

Jeongin wiped delicately at the scabbing lines. He thought briefly of making a few more, but pushed the idea away. He didn't want to take too long. 

Jeongin quickly slipped his tank top off to examine the bruise his father gifted him a few days ago.

He didn't hear when the door clicked open.

He did hear the small gasp escape Chan's lips though.

Jeongin quickly covered his body, aiming more for the cuts then the bruise. The bruise was easier to explain.

Chan didn't look away. Jeongin was uncomfortable.

"What happened to you? Were you actually pushed? That looks worse than a small tumble to the ground."

Jeongin slipped the sweater over his head as fast as he could. His ribs were extremely prominent with the movement.

"Who did this?" Chan's voice cracked.

Jeongin started crying. Chan moved immediately to hug him.

The smaller rested his head on Chan's chest and sighed at the warmth. He hadn't had a good hug in ages. He only ever hugged animals. It felt good to hug another human.

Chan suddenly grabbed Jeongin's hand and led him out of the bathroom. He avoided the questioning stares from Felix and Jisung and focused on the door he was being brought to.

Chan sat on the bed and sat Jeongin on his lap facing him. 

Blushing commenced once more.

"Can you tell me what happened? I just want to help."

Jeongin opened his mouth, but no words could form.

Chan rubbed his back as if to tell him to take his time.

It was another few minutes of Jeongin getting lost in Chan's touch before he decided to speak.

"I did get pushed this morning, but the bruise on my face and side is from a few days ago."

Chan encouraged him to speak further, "Who did it?"

Jeongin stared at his hands, "My- uh... my dad."

Chan lifted his hand to Jeongin's chin, "I swear to you, you're safe here and he cannot touch you."

Jeongin started to cry.

"How long has he hurt you for? Is your mother like this too?"

"I guess my entire life. My mom doesn't hit me though. Only dad." A sniffle followed.

"And you're so skinny. Do they starve you or do you have a type of eating disorder?"

"Well... my dad usually hangs out in the living room, and that's connected to the kitchen so I can't go down there unless he's passed out of I'll get hit."

Chan hugged Jeongin a little tighter, "How could anyone hurt such an amazing boy?" 

"I'm really not that great."

Chan gasped, "How dare you insult yourself, you absolute masterpiece!"

Jeongin giggled.

"You look like you're hiding something else." 

The giggling stopped.

"Spill it."

Jeongin gave Chan a pleading look, "Please? It's not important in the slightest."

An eyebrow was raised, "I doubt that."

"Okay, fine. My parents kinda sorta foundoutIwasgayandkickedmeoutsoI'vebeenlivingonthestreetsforafewdaysandIt'sreallyfineIswear."

"Slower honey, please."

"My parents found out I was gay sotheykickedmeoutandI'vebeenlivingonthestreetsincethen."

"Jeongin."

"Okay! Okay! I got kicked out a few days ago because I guess my gayness was the final string and I've been living on the streets since then."

Chan's eyes widened.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier? I could've helped you the first day we met! But you stayed another night on the street because I'm oblivious!"

"To be fair, I looked this dirty before I left. If fact, I would say cleaner. It isn't your fault for me not talking."

"Woojin legit thought you were in a gang."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write longer chapters or is this good? I hope you like it, I wrote this instead of sleeping (You can probably tell).


	5. Dinner and a Talk

"we have to tell the others!" Chan leaped up with Jeongin on his hip.

Jeongin, flustered over the new position, was babbling oppositions.

"Jeonginnie, you need help. We couldn't live with ourselves if we didn't do anything."

Jeongin got quiet at the nickname, he hadn't heard it in years.

"Why are you crying? I swear no one will be mad at you or think of you differently. Well...Woojin won't think you're a gang member now, but that's a good thing." Chan spoke softly.

Jeongin laughed, furiously wiping his eyes. He didn't know when he started crying, but he's glad Chan didn't laugh at him for it.

Chan sat Jeongin on the bed.

"What if I told them for you? You could stay in here and mess with my stuff until I come back."

The offer was tempting, but Jeongin didn't want to be alone. 

"I'll get Missy first." And Chan was gone.

Jeongin's heart swooned. How was it that Chan knew just what he needed?

Within a minute Missy was pawing at Jeongin's face and climbing his shoulders.

Chan left with a thumbs up.

Now all Jeongin had to do was sit and bask in the anxiety.

The boy didn't understand why it was so important that everyone knew his business.

Missy drew him from his thoughts with a soft purr. 

Jeongin looked over to her and saw her standing on Chan's desk.

"Missy, you'll knock something over!" 

As the short boy made his way to lift his friend off the desk, something caught his eye.

A wooden picture frame holding a photo of the men he's met. Each person kissed another's cheek. Like a giant line of love, starting with Felix and ending with Chan. 

Jeongin wasn't sure why his heart fluttered. It confused him when the heat radiated off his ears.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Jeongin choked on air because he's a giant gay dork and Seungmin entered the room.

"Hey, dinner is almost ready."

"Oh, uh- okay. I can leave now."

Seungmin frowned, "What? You're joining us."

Jeongin looked at Seungmin and shyly smiled, "I don't wanna intrude any more than I have already."

Seungmin shook his head, and grabbed the younger's hand, "Lets clean you up."

So from there, Jeongin was led into the same bathroom Chan found him in. Felix and Jisung were no longer in the living room. 

Seungmin picked up the same hairbrush Jeongin contemplated using earlier and stuck it to Jeongin's head.

"Ow! Owowowow!" 

Seungmin rolled his eyes at the winces, "Alright, I'm gonna get you a towel and you're going to take a shower. Use extra conditioner please, you're hair is a giant knot."

Before Jeongin could protest, Seungmin had left the room and came back with a baby blue towel. 

How fitting.

"Now get in the shower. Take your time, we have another fifteen minutes before Woojin will call for us." Seungmin showed Jeongin how to work the nobs and then left.

It was nice. Jeongin always had to wait for his father to leave the house to use the bathroom. He only had one and If he was in it when his father needed it he was screwed.

Jeongin stared in awe at all the different types of shampoo. Well, I guess if eight people live in one house, they're gonna have different favourites.

He picked a peach scented one and started to wash his hair. As embarrassing as it was, dirt actually came out of his hair. Like the water turned brown for a few seconds. 

He picked a matching conditioner and body wash, careful when going over his cuts.

Jeongin couldn't help but start to hum. The hum turned into faint singing.

"Hey, I got clothes for you." 

Red. Ears. Seungmin has heard his terrible voice.

Jeongin shut off the shower and wrapped a towel around body, holding it at the chest. He didn't bother to dry off yet, he didn't want to keep Seungmin waiting.

The door opened and it wasn't Seungmin. It was Woojin.

Jeongin really hoped Woojin didn't hear him sing. He didn't want to make a bad impression.

Jeongin couldn't explain it well, but he had a stronger desire to please the older boys in the group. It somehow didn't matter when it was Seungmin, Jisung, Hyunjin, or Felix because they were only a year older and he could mess with them. He wants to make Changbin, Minho, Chan, and Woojin proud.

Especially Woojin after finding out the older thought he was a gang member.

Seeing that it was Woojin, Jeongin avoided eye contact and thanked him.

Woojin gave a half-smile and turned to leave.

Jeongin shut the door and looked at the clothes.

Black denim shorts that reached just above his knee, a pair of boxers, and a white short sleeved shirt.

A short sleeved shirt.

Jeongin couldn't wear it, but he also couldn't wear his old sweater without facing uncomfortable questions.

Jeongin dried off and slipped the boxers and shorts on, knowing the bruises on his legs were exposed. He hoped no one would say anything after Chan told them about his situation.

Everything was too big for him. His skinny figure couldn't hold on to the material.

Jeongin pulled the shirt over his head, deciding what to do.

Maybe he should just walk out there and face them. 

But then he wouldn't be able to cut in the future without anyone knowing.

He could always switch back to his thighs.

And with that, Jeongin brushed his hair and walked out of the bathroom. 

Hyunjin was waiting on the couch for him.

The entire time.

Guilt flooded Jeongin's body.

Hyunjin just smiled at Jeongin, his eyes never leaving the youngers. Jeongin was grateful he wasn't staring at his broken body.

"H-Hi."

"Hi, shall we go eat now?"

Jeongin nodded and took the hand Hyunjin had left open for him.

Jeongin's guilt shrank slightly when seeing the boys still setting up the table, he hadn't kept Hyunjin from eating.

Jisung walked in and laughed at the mismatching plates, "Yeah, you may have noticed already, but we just moved and no one has unpacked much."

Jeongin giggled quietly, oblivious to the warm smiles on everyone's faces.

One after the other, the boys sat down. 

Minho filled a small bowl with the cat food from Jeongin's bag for Missy. Jeongin was only slightly panicked when he realized Minho was in his bag. 

Jeongin held his arms close to his body, trying his hardest to hide the cuts from sight.

"You can sit here next to me Jeongin!" Hyunjin bounced.

"And me!" Felix wined.

Woojin set a giant bowl of spaghetti on the table with a smaller bowl of parmesan on the side.

Everyone except Hyunjin and Jeongin went for it.

Instead, Hyunjin slipped off his sweater and reached for his cup.

Jeongin watched his movements and was surprised when he saw faint white and pink lines running down the entirety of Hyunjin's arm.

He did it on purpose. Hyunjin took off his hoodie and exposed his scars to make Jeongin more comfortable. 

Jeongin's arms left his sides and rested on the table. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Jeongin could see Hyunjin smile.

Of course Jeongin was still uneasy about exposing his arms with the heavy amount tallies littering them, but he didn't feel as alone.

Suddenly, Felix took Jeongin's plate.

"If you take too long, there'll be none left." He laughed.

Jeongin thanked him before noticing Chan's stare.

He looked over and Chan worded, "Eat slow. You'll get sick."

Jeongin nodded, happy Chan didn't say it outloud and put attention on him.

Everyone went silent after Jeongin took the first bite.

What did he do wrong?

"Honey, we want to talk to you about some things," Woojin started, "Chan told us everything.

Jeongin looked down to his lap, avoiding the pitiful eyes of the men around him.

"We were all wondering-" Chan cut him off,

"Would you want to stay with us here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's day is going well! I have to go to an annual Christmas party with family to get insulted in like an hour. I'm going to try to seal off a corner to hide in and write.


	6. Kkami Forgives

Jeongin's head had never snapped up so quickly.

The other boys winced, feeling the whiplash for him.

His eyes went straight back to his lap.

"I couldn't...." Jeongin's voice was small. 

"Baby... we want you to. We have the space, there are four bedrooms and we all usually sleep in one giant cuddle pile." Chan slowly got up from his seat across Jeongin and walked over to the boy.

"It wouldn't be any trouble. You can't expect us to be okay with you out of the street. Do you really want us to be worried about you for the rest of our lives?" Changbin said as if he were talking to a child.

Jeongin shook his head with a small pout until he saw arms sneak around him. Chan was going to back hug him.

Except Jeongin didn't interpret it that way.

The smaller boy flinched. Curling in on himself and protecting his face. A small whine left Jeongin's lips and his body shook in fear.

He didn't open his eyes until he felt arms pulling him up onto someone's lap.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking! I just wanted to give you a hug! God, I'm so stupid!" Chan ranted while slipping his arms around Jeongin's waist.

Jeongin started to cry, "No! Don't say sorry! That was my fault! I'm the stupid one, you didn't do anything wrong!"

He turned at the sound of chairs scraping the tiled floor.

Everyone had gotten up and moved toward the two. 

"How are you so humble? You just apologized for something you couldn't control! A reflex! Everything you've gone through and you still try to make others happy at the expense of yourself!" Seungmin laughed with tears in his eyes.

Jeongin got shy at the gazes of everyone and decided the best way to escape it was to bury his head in Chan's chest.

Felix snapped a picture the second Jeongin's head hit the t-shirt.

"I think you need to eat a bit more. Then we can all put on pajamas and watch a movie or play a game." Jisung stated matter of factly.

Everyone slowly went back to their seats.

All except Chan.

Chan was acting as a seat belt for Jeongin. A seat belt that didn't unclick until Jeongin ate at least half his food.

"Uh- can... Nevermind." The smaller boy's voice shrunk with each second.

"What's up?" Hyunjin asked.

"It's not important.." 

Everyone could tell Jeongin felt like he was out of place to ask for something. 

Eight hot men offer you and your best friend, who is actually a cat, a place to live and without judging your 'tragic backstory'?

Of course you wouldn't want to demand more.

"It's okay, I promise we won't mind or be mad at your suggestions." Minho spoke after a long period of silence.

"Who could be mad at the living embodiment of cuteness?" Felix mumbled under his breath, unaware Jeongin had heard him and was now blushing madly.

"I- I was gonna ask if I could maybe possibly skip the movie night and go to bed, but if not it's fine an- and It doesn't really matter. It's just my stomach kinda hurts from dinner. Wait! I worded that wrong! I'm sorry! It wasn't your cooking or anything, it was really good! I just-"

"It's okay! Don't worry about it! We'll have it another time!" Jisung laughed at the boys anxious rambling.

"Would you like to sleep in your own room or with someone?" Minho questioned, fully ready to move his boyfriends to the couch if needed.

Jeongin timidly peaked over to Hyunjin, eyes widening in surprise when he saw Hyunjin staring back at him.

"Me? Aw sweeeet! I'm gonna unpack the softest blankets before Changbinnie can get them!"

"Yah! The pink one is mine! If you dare take it you won't get kisses for a week!" Changbin replied to the currently running away, Hyunjin.

"Well, let's get you some pajamas and let's get Missy a box or something." Minho continued, walking to a closet filled with boxes.

The elder reached in toward the bottom and pulled out a large blue garment.

"This shirt is big enough to just wear boxers with." 

Jeongin nodded and took the shirt.

Suddenly a voice called down the hall, "Are you coming?"

Jeongin looked back to the others with a shy pout, "Uh... can-"

He gave up on words and just stretched his arms out. Bodies surrounded him and Jeongin was sent to bed with a hug. 

"Hey! You used my shampoo!" Felix laughed.

"Go now or Felix won't let you leave." Woojin pushed Jeongin in the direction of the room Hyunjin was in.

Jeongin clutched the shirt he was holding tightly and walked quickly to the room.

"There's a bathroom in here if you wanna get dressed in there or you can just slip it over your clothes now and I can look away." Hyunjin said, layering blankets on the bed.

Jeongin picked the latter. He didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

The shirt reached to his thighs. 

He quickly pulled the shorts off and the previous shirt from under.

Hyunjin sat on the bed and waited.

"Um.... than-thank you for earlier."

Hyunjin smiled, "Are you talking about during dinner."

Jeongin nodded, still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Hyunjin patted the space next to him on the bed and waited until Jeongin was sitting until he continued, "It just helps to know you aren't alone. I didn't have anyone until I met the boys."

"I've only ever had Missy."

"I- uh," Hyunjin's eyes teared up, "I used to have a dog. He was like what Missy is to you, but he...he died about a year ago."

"What was his name?"

"Kkami," Hyunjin wiped his tears harshly, "He really knew how to help after a bad day."

"Did he pass from old age?" Jeongin wrapped him arms around Hyunjin.

"No, actually." Hyunjin layed on the bed, dragging Jeongin down with him, "When I was seventeen and still in highschool, I had my first serious boyfriend. I'll tell you the full story one day, but he was extremely abusive. I hadn't realized it wasn't healthy until the day Kkami died. We got into an argument and he was threatening me. I took Kkami and hid in a closet, but when he found me.. He- uh, " Hyunjin took a break to wipe his nose, "He threw Kkami down the stairs to teach me a lesson. I ran out of the house with Kkami's body and Changbin found me. He helped me bury Kkami behind his favourite dog park and brought me home to the others. Or rather the six of us at the time. I self-harmed before that relationship and during. I thought it was a good idea to cover my self-hatred with someone else's toxic love. Like it would erase it somehow."

"Thank you for telling me, It means a lot. I'm sure Kkami doesn't hold anything against you for what happened."

Hyunjin started sobbing. 

Jeongin pushed the elder's head into his chest and patted his hair. Hyunjin inhaled deeply, trying to get his breathing under control and recognized the faint smell of rain. Jeongin smelled like rain. Jeongin rested his chin on Hyunjin's head and recognized vanilla. Hyunjin smelled like vanilla.

It took only a minute for the door to open and for Hyunjin and Jeongin to be surrounded in a bubble of unconditional love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Realising it isn't as bad as I think to reply to comments? 
> 
> I'll be going into backgrounds of the other boys at a later date.


	7. Nightmares?

Woojin scooped Jeongin up and moved him to the end of the bed so Changbin could reach Hyunjin.

"I- I shouldn't have asked about Kkami. I-" 

"Hush, you didn't know. This happens sometimes, it's okay. Changbin's got it under control." Woojin interrupted, trying to prevent Jeongin from getting worked up.

Somewhere between the hushings from Woojin and the fingers in his hair, Jeongin fell drowsy.

He could feel himself being laid against a body he assumed was Hyunjin's before the lights turned off.

The sleepiness wore off quick and Jeongin shot up, scaring a whine of surprise out of Jisung at the door.

"Is something wrong?" Jisung hesitated.

"Can you leave the hallway light on?" Jeongin whispered, trying his hardest not to wake the already stirring Hyunjin.

Jisung gave a small smile then nodded before leaving the room. 

Jeongin knew it was dumb. Seventeen years old and he was afraid of the dark?

Well it wasn't so much the dark he was scared of, it's what he couldn't see in the dark.

Jeongin knew he was far away from his parents now, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that his dad would lunge out and attack him. 

It had happened before and Jeongin wanted to be prepared.

He closed his eyes.

But, just then, a crack was heard just beyond the closet. The hallway light somehow turned off as well. In fact, Jeongin wasn't even in the room he fell asleep in. He was back in his old room, Missy in his lap. 

Another creak.

"This is a nightmare Jeongin, you're fine." The boy realized and told himself.

He repeated like a mantra. 

It did nothing to help him.

The creaking picked up the pace and spread across the room. Jeongin curled himself over Missy and watched the darkness.

The shadows seemed to still with Jeongin's breath. 

An inhale kept them at bay.

An exhale brought them closer.

Jeongin held his breath and scanned the room.

Suddenly Missy dug her claws into the boy's arm. Jeongin screamed, but was cut off by a freezing cold hand wrapping around his throat. 

The shadows swirled and surrounded him. 

Long cloud-like masses painted black held his body down. 

Missy was no longer in the room, but he could hear her distressed mewls.

Yes, she did hurt him, but Jeongin didn't care. He was still worried.

Jeongin's mind was quickly losing consciousness.

It took only another few seconds for the mirage to disappear and Hyunjin's room to come back.

But this time Hyunjin wasn't the only one in the room.

Jeongin blinked, clearing the images from his mind and soaking up the new ones that flooded his brain.

He tried to sit up, but realised someone was holding him down.

He turned to see Hyunjin's panic-stricken face relax slightly.

"You wouldn't wake up. We- we tried everything. You just kept thrashing and screaming." Felix cried out, quickly rushing to Jeongin's side.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you all." Jeongin looked down to his arms, still shivering in fear.

No scratch. At least not from Missy.

Minho shook his head, "Don't apologize. Please. You're going to make us all cry." 

"At least it wasn't that bad this time." Jeongin mumbled while leaning into Hyunjin's touch. Missy climbed the bed to sit with the boy.

Everyone shared a surprised look, "It gets worse?"

Jeongin looked up realising he was heard, "Uh.. Only when I don't realize it's a nightmare. What time is it?"

Everyone saw how tired Jeongin looked. How his hair clung to his forehead with sweat and how the bags under his eyes anchored anguish.

They didn't have the heart to tell him it was already seven in the morning, "It's almost four, you still have a few more hours to sleep." Jisung said.

"I'm so sorry! I woke you up so early!"

Everyone shook their heads, wearing small smiles.

Jeongin was bid goodnight and turned over by Hyunjin.

He fell asleep quickly. Hyunjin carefully got up from the bed.

The boys quietly left the room and walked toward the kitchen.

"He said they get worse." Woojin said in disbelief.

"I don't think they're nightmares." Minho said, "I don't even think he knows they aren't nightmares."

Everyone knew what he was going to say.

"If it was just a nightmare, we would be able to wake him up. He wouldn't wake up to anything. "

Silence.

"He has ptsd." Felix said quietly and looked at his feet.

Minho walked to Felix and rubbed his back; a silent way to comfort him.

Felix shook off the hand and walked out of the kitchen.

Jisung followed close behind with a sad look.

"I'm going to start breakfast." Chan turned to grab a pan, "You should all go get dressed."

Seungmin placed a small kiss on Chan's head before turning to leave. 

The others followed, worried about Felix.

It took another hour before everything was prepared.

It took a lot to feed eigh- nine people. Even if Jeongin couldn't eat that much and Jisung was scared to.

Felix ran into the kitchen giggling. A nice contrast to earlier.

"Channie, hide me! Changbin's trying to tickle me!" 

Chan smiled and set a cup down before back hugging him.

An action that took a long time to be seen as non-threatening in Felix's eyes,

"Oh, I wonder where my little Jikseu is?" Changbin called from down the hall.

"You traitor! Let me go this instant!" Felix screamed in a whisper.

"There he is!" Changbin smiled and thanked Chan before picking Felix up and throwing him over his shoulder.

Felix started to hit Changbin's back, although he knew he was too weak to hurt the older man.

Changbin brought Felix to the living room and plopped him down before directly going in the kill.

"Binnie! Please-" Felix gasped for air, laughing uncontrollably, "Someone help!"

Suddenly Seungmin showed up in the doorway, "Breakfast is ready." His voice showed his amusement.

He stayed a few more seconds, allowing his heart to bask in the scene, then Seungmin returned to the kitchen.

"Please, I yield!" Felix whined.

Changbin decided to give the boy mercy and offered his hand.

Felix smiled and walked with Changbin to the kitchen.

Woojin walked past them, clearly on a path to Jeongin's room.

A tiny knock on the door was all Woojin gave before entering.

The sight could make anyone's heart swell.

Jeongin was wrapped like a burrito, his hair being the only visible thing on his body.

Woojin may have let out a ginormous sound of adoration that caused Jeongin to stir, but he just couldn't help it.

Jeongin popped his head out of the blanket and woojin almost lost his shit.

His tiny hands went up to rub his eyes while they found their way to Woojin's face.

"Woojinnie."

Shit, Woojin you're staring.

"Breakfast is ready, I hope we can find something you like."

Jeongin whined, not ready to leave the warmth of the bed.

Woojin smiled, "If you get up now, I'll let you wear my hoodie."

Jeongin groaned and slowly unrolled himself.

Woojin chuckled, unzipping his hoodie. It worked on everyone.

Jeongin's ears went pink and he stared at his feet.

Woojin wrapped his hoodie around the younger, completely unaware it was his figure flustering Jeongin. 

Jeongin's ears went red when Woojin picked him up. 

Hey, Jeongin's a horny teenager, he can't help it. Especially when Woojin is basically ripped and holding him up against his chest.

"Off we go!" Woojin turned toward the door and made for the kitchen.

Jeongin hid his face in the hoodie, inhaling the scent of pear and honey.

"There they are! Let's start." Chan smiled


	8. Doctor and an Apple

Woojin didn't allow Jeongin to leave his hold. He propped the boy up on his lap and reached for two cups. 

Felix caught Jeongin's eyes and he winked from Changbin's lap.

Jeongin's head shot down and he played with his hoodie strings.

Woojin smiled, happy Felix's mood had improved since earlier. He would still check in after breakfast though.

"Can you stop flirting across the table and pass the salt please?" Seungmin deadpanned.

Jisung reached for the salt and handed Seungmin the small glass bottle, but also brought the attention of Jeongin onto him.

He had nothing on his plate and Minho was whispering something into his ear.

Jisung's face bore pure sorrow as Minho reached across to grab an apple from the fruit basket. Sorrow turned to fear when it ended up lying in his hands.

Minho whispered once more into Jisung's ear before turning his attention back to his own plate.

Jeongin looked away, feeling as if he had intruded upon something serious.

Woojin didn't notice the youngest's distraction, he lifted a fork to Jeongin's mouth and said, "Try this."

Jeongin hesitated, but ultimately let Woojin feed him.

Sure the food was great, but what really topped it was being able to feel another person's care. Missy helped, but nothing compares to the warm hands of Woojin.

But, Jeongin wondered how long this would last. Just how long are they willing to put up with him? From what he's heard and observed, these boys had their own problems to deal with.

Jisung pulled Jeongin from his thoughts when he stood abruptly and left the kitchen.

Minho looked to his plate. Half the apple was missing.

"Bad day. I'll go talk to him." Was the last thing Jeongin had heard from the elder before he practically ran towards what looked like the bathroom.

Why would Minho meet Jisung in the bathroom?

No one said anything, they simply stared at their plates and pushed food around.

Jeongin thought he could hear a cry, but Woojin's voice cut it off,

"Jeongin? I'd like for you to see a doctor."

Jeongin's mind was screaming.

No! Why on Earth would you even suggest that? What purpose did it have? You already know the damage that was done!

However, he said, I don't think that's necessary."

Woojin frowned, "There could be something serious that we can't see. You've been through a lot and we need to make sure you're healthy."

Chan chimed in, "You don't have to go to the doctor's office, I have a friend that could come here to check you."

That was better, but still bad.

"You can't get out of it, it's better to just agree." Changbin chuckled.

"When is it?" Jeongin squeaked, causing everyone's hearts to soften.

"Uhh, he should be here in about..." Chan looked at the clock on the wall, "Ten minutes ago."

"You just decided to tell me after he was already supposed to be here?" Jeongin frowned.

"Hey, don't pout. It's for your own good."

Jeongin found himself listening to the other boys and relaxed his face. He subconsciously had done it, seeking some sort of positive reaction from them.

When he received none, the pout returned. He scooted off of Woojin's lap and trudged over to the sink with his plate in hand.

The knock at the door made him cringe.

Changbin got up and walked to the living room, forcing Felix to join Jeongin with a pout.

"Come here, kiddo! It won't take long!" Changbin shouted.

Jeongin's hand was taken into Felix's and they both walked to the voice.

Jeongin wouldn't ever tell Felix, but his hand did make him feel a lot better.

"This is Dr. Yun, he's our personal doctor."

Personal? What did they do for a living?

"Hi Jeongin, I've heard a lot about you."

Hearing this, the younger boy's head snapped up to meet Chan's.

So he had told him. Jeongin couldn't really be mad at the man, but boy did he try.

Crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows, Jeongin gave the boys their first glance at his sassy side. 

"Would you feel more comfortable if we were in a closed room?" Dr. Yun asked.

Jeongin's sassy face was replaced with alarm. He didn't want to be away from the others, 

"No! I mean uh- I'm good right h-here."

Jeongin pretended not to notice the smirks pointed at him. 

"Alright, let's get started. Take off your shirt and we'll evaluate you."

Hesitantly, Jeongin stripped Woojin's hoodie off of him and the shirt underneath. 

"I'm going to be taking a few notes; if you could describe the wounds I point out it would help."

Dr. Yen pointed to the bruise on the boy's side and Jeongin spoke quickly, "Kicked."

"By whom?"

"Father."

Dr. Yen scribbled something down and pointed to the lash marks on his stomach.

"Belt." Jeongin said before remembering to say how it occured, "Father."

The small blotches of burns on his shoulder.

"Father."

Dr. Yen pointed to the lines on his wrist.

"Me." 

He didn't look at anyone's eyes until he heard a door open.

"Jisung wait-" Minho's voice called.

Jisung's eyes met the skinny body of Jeongin before he was instantly put into a panic. 

His breathing was getting faster and it only took a few seconds for his knees to wobble. 

Jeongin didn't understand. Was he that disgusting?

His mind wondered while his hands went to touch the cigarette burns. He remembered the day he'd gotten his first one.

He was in second grade and had just gotten out of school. It was a special occasion, his music teacher just gave him a role in the annual play. Yes, he knew no one would come to it and it wasn't the lead role, but he was still happy.

Permission slip in his right hand and smile plastered onto his face, he set out for home. The young boy even took the scenic route, wanting time to bask in the happiness. 

Upon reaching the front door thirty minutes later, he found it open. Jeongin quickly walked in and called out for his mother. She was supposed to be home early today.

"Why are you so loud?" The couch creaked from the weight being removed from it.

Fear flourished in the child's veins.

"Answer me, you rat." The voice was scratchy and reeked.

It wasn't his mother. It was his dad.

Yes, Jeongin's mom was getting colder and colder each passing day, but Jeongin's dad was always hateful towards him. His mother still acknowledged his existence, occasionally dropping him off at school or making an extra portion at dinner. Jeongin's father only ever saw Jeongin when he was angry.

At least his mother had once tried to form a relationship, his dad always aimed to hurt him.

"Don't like talking, huh? If you don't wanna talk, I can make you scream."

Jeongin gripped the papers, ready to make a run for it. 

A belt was unbuckled and taken off of the drunken man's torso, "What you got there, boy?" 

"I- uh I'm in the school play."

A deep rumble left the man's chest, exhaling the strangling scent of alcohol.

"Oh god, now this. You finally talk and what you tell me is that you're a faggot? Not in my house. Give me the paper."

Jeongin eyes widened, anticipating what his father would do to him this time. 

"Give me the paper." Jeongin's father had repeated, leaving the air in suspense.

The child shook his head before he knew he was doing it.

A shocked look on the man's face lasted only a few seconds before turning furious.

"Fine."

He took the cigarette from his lips and smashed it into Jeongin's right arm, forcing the child to drop the papers onto the stained carpet to scream.

Before the man could do more, Jeongin was ripped from his thoughts.

"Jeongin! Come on!" That voice was familiar.

"Give him a minute boys, he's calmed down significantly." That voice was new, but he swore he remembered it.

The blurriness faded and Jeongin took in his surroundings.

Where was he? This isn't his house.

"Jeongin? I think I'll come back tomorrow when you're feeling better." A man in a lab coat said. 

What was his name again?

Jeongin looked around, confusion filling up all his senses. 

He recognized one thing though.

A white hoodie on the couch.

He'd worn that before, but it wasn't his.

Who's was it?

Oh, right.

Woojin.

"Woojin?" He asked.

Sighs were heard escaping the lungs of worried teens.

"We're here."

We're?

How could he forget?

Suddenly Jisung's outburst flooded back into Jeongin's brain.

Why couldn't he forget.

He met the eyes of Jisung when he looked to his right.

The first thing he said was, "Are you alright?" 

Jeongin had seen how Jisung went into a panic attack and was worried for him. It did make Jeongin insecure that he had been the one to cause it. Simply by looking how he did, he sent a new friend into a terrible state of mind.

"Are you kidding me? Did you just ask me if I'm okay?" Jisung looked astonished.

"I'm sorry I made you have a panic attack. I should have asked for the private room." Jeongin's voice got quieter with each passing second.

"That- That wasn't your fault! I was just reminded of some things when I saw how skinny you were. You really shouldn't apologize!"

Jeongin didn't know what came over him, but he made the move to hug Jisung first.

"Can we have movie night now?"


	9. Movies

"Zootopia or Inside Out?" Felix asked, pulling out a bin from behind the tv.

"I vote Zootopia!" Jisung squealed.

"Of course you do, you squirrel!" Minho laughed along with the others. All except Jeongin.

His childhood never had movies. He couldn't use the tv in fear of his father seeing him and he never really had the desire to see one. 

The first and only movie Jeongin had seen was Monsters Inc. He saw it when invited to a birthday party in kindergarten. That was also the first and only birthday party he went to. At the age of five the boy had to go home because of the nightmares Monsters Inc. caused. Monsters? Making you scream for energy? A weird crab-legged man, a camouflaged wall climbing lizard, and a slug secretary? How was this for children? He ended up putting a lock on his closet door after that. It didn't come off until he was thirteen. Honestly he was still scared of monsters in his closet.

Yes, his mother called him a wuss and his friend stopped hanging out with him shortly after, but that was okay. The loneliness just made him a stronger person.

That's what he told himself.

"How about Jeongin picks?" Chan suggested, pulling the boy from his thinking.

Everyone looked in his direction.

Jeongin buried his face into Minho's chest, trying his best to escape the stares.

He mumbled a small, "I don't know." before pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Hav- Have you- as cute as this is- have you never seen these movies or are you that indecisive?" Minho rubbed his back.

"I haven't seen them."

Felix opened the bin once more, holding out dvd cases for Jeongin to observe, "Have you seen any of these?" He sounded baffled. 

A small shake of the head with nudge into Minho's chest.

"Alrighty boys," Woojin spoke, "I think we need to have a movie marathon."

The boys cheered.

This was a rare occasion.

The boys were never all home together during the day. They all had jobs with different days off.

They still made it a goal to have dinner together to catch up, but it wasn't like this.

Weekends were non-negotiable no work days where all they did was cuddle.

"Seungmin and I will push the couches together, Felix you'll finish setting up the dvd player, Chan and Hyunjin can get snacks and check on Missy, Changbin and Minho can gather all the blankets and pillows in the house, and Jeongin," Woonjin took a breath, "You're going to read the backs of the cases and pick out which movies we'll watch and in what order with Jisung."

Everyone got up. Jeongin may or may not have whined when Minho's body heat left with his footsteps and Minho may or may not have returned the action with the ruffle of the younger's hair paired with a soft smile.

Jisung took Minho's place next to Jeongin. Felix left the bin in front of him and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, and Woojin and Seungmin walked to the other couch.

"Alright, where shall we start?" Jisung asked

Jeongin looked into the bin, "Any recommendations?"

"For a cute baby like you, I think Strawberry Shortcake." Felix joked, causing Jisung to laugh.

Jeongin didn't get it, but still his ears turned red at the pet name.

"Aw, would you look at that! Baby's blushing." Seungmin said with a short puff of air, worn from lifting a couch.

Woojin didn't look any better, "Please lift your feet so we can be done." 

And with another puff of air, the couches formed a plush platform for the boys.

One by one, the rest of the boys started making their way back to the living room. 

Snacks and blankets found themselves in the laps of everyone. Some were balanced on the armrest, ready to tumble.

Jisung and Minho trapped Jeongin in his spot, both leaning into the youngest.

"So? what'd you pick?" Hyunjin asked, holding Missy like a baby. 

"Zootopia." Jeongin said. He didn't actually make a decision; Jisung said he wanted it earlier and Jeongin wanted him to be happy.

He would have chosen whatever Strawberry Shortcake was to figure out way Felix suggested it.

"Yes!" Jisung hugged Jeongin tightly and smiled.

He really did look like a squirrel.

Felix put the movie in and returned to his spot between Hyunjin and Changbin.

Missy made her way to Chan's lap, clearly fed up with Hyunjin trying to feed her an apple slice.

 

 

Everyone was falling asleep.

Well, almost everyone. Jisung showed some signs of focus and Jeongin was still completely immersed in the colorful animation.

It was actually pretty cute. Two boys with Big Tiny Energy™ watching a film for children while cuddling. Woojin may have taken pictures, but he'll never show anyone.

Missy now taking a turn in his lap, had to suffer with him squeezing her in suspense whenever the evil sheep showed on screen.

Minho had been brought back to consciousness with each jolt Jeongin emitted.

"Are you actually scared? From Zootopia? A movie about a rabbit police officer?"

Jeongin mumbled something.

The rest of the boys stirred at the conversation.

"What was that?" Minho asked.

"I said... uh- you remind me of the fox."

Jisung screeched in laugher, Seungmin joining him. Now everyone was certainly awake.

Chan souped up Jeongin and ran to the kitchen before Minho could strangle him.

"How about a brief intermission for lunch?" Chan asked, trying to distract Jeongin, but he could still hear a yell from the living room that sounded like, "Let me go!" 

He felt regret. 

Why did he say that? He'd just made one of the men who saved his life angry.

"Jeongin run!" A voice from down the hall shouted. It sounded like Seungmin.

Why did he have to run?

Minho appeared in the kitchen.

Fuck, Jeongin run.

Chan stepped to the wall, moving himself out of the way.

Jeongin was cornered.

Before he knew it, he was laying on the ground.

Minho started to tickle him.

Minho was skilled.

How does one obtain a skill to tickle? 

So he wasn't angry? Instead of being hit, Jeongin was tickled. 

He liked this better.

Jeongin gasped for air between his sobs of laughter.

"You dare call me the fox? I may be handsome and snarky, but his fashion! makes! me! gag!"

Woojin restrained Minho and Jeongin continued to lay on the floor, still laughing.

"That's his way to get back at us." Seungmin explained, offering a hand to the younger.

Jeongin wiped his tears and took the hand.

Jeongin then turned to face Minho and said, "Thanks..... Nick." before bursting off into one of the rooms to hide.

"Yah!"

Minho broke from Woojin's grasp and ran after.

Chan broke from the wall and joined the group at the table.

"That cutie's gotta learn. He won't have air left if he keeps this up."

"I hope he does. His laugh is adorable." Woojin responded.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of pureness because uwu that's why. I'm currently writing a oneshot of some Jeongchan, so look forward to that please! Sorry if you didn't like this chapter, it was more of a filler.


	10. School?

Jeongin woke with the sound of a door slamming.

A muffled, "I swear I'm going to kill him if he doesn't figure out how to close a door gently." came through the wall.

He suspected it was Seungmin.

"Can someone go get Jeongin? Breakfast is done."

That sounded like Minho.

Jeongin decided to save the boys from a few extra steps and walked out to the hallway himself.

He nearly ran into Felix, but the older bounced back at the last second.

"The door woke you up, didn't it?" He laughed.

Both boys found their way into the kitchen.

Felix sat by Seungmin and Jeongin gravitated to Minho.

After the movie night a few days ago, Jeongin tended to cling to the man.

It was nice. He had definitely learned a lot more about Minho and the dynamics in the house.

When Jeongin got up to go to the bathroom after falling asleep with Minho, he found out the older has bad separation anxiety.

Embarrassed from whining when Jeongin got up, Minho explained he was left alone a lot as a child and as soon as he met the others, he had grown attached to the kind boys. He cried of his parents' constant business trips and their lack of empathy for a 6 year old.

"Ahh, there's my baby!" Minho smiled.

Jeongin rolled his eyes, knowing full well Minho was talking to the cat in his arms.

Jeongin had learned the boys' basic personalities, but he still had his questions.

Minho laughed when Jeongin handed Missy to him.

"Guys, it'll get cold if you keep messing around!" Hyunjin laughed.

Jeongin sat down, immediately feeling something was wrong.

"Where?-" He pointed to the missing seats.

"Jisung, Chan, and Changbinnie are at their studio." Woojin explained, "They should be back for dinner, but don't be surprised if they stay there all night."

Jeongin saw Minho tense.

"Felix and Hyunjin have classes in an hour and Minho and I have work in fifteen minutes."

"What about Seungmin?" Jeongin asked.

"I'm going to show you around my high school. I set up a shadow day yesterday, so you can follow me around."

Jeongin didn't like that idea.

He barely showed up to his former high school, always avoiding bullies or too injured to go.

"How is that possible? Don't you need a parent's signature or something?" Jeongin pleaded.

Everyone saw the worry in the younger's eyes.

"We've done this with Felix and Seungmin, honey. There are a few forms we have to fill out so that your our responsibility in school, but it should be fine. However.." Woojin looked down, "We do need your birth certificate. We have Dr. Yen for medical records, but we can't exactly forge a birth certificate."

"We'll figure something out." Seungmin smiled.

"I can't- I can't go back." Jeongin stuttered out.

"Just try one day? For us?" Minho took Jeongin's hand in his.

Jeongin obviously couldn't say no to that.

So after breakfast, Jeongin let Seungmin drag him into his room. 

He was handed a cream-coloured sweater as well as a pair of jeans ripped at the knee. 

"These are Jisung's old jeans. I'm pretty sure they'll fit you." Seungmin said, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Thank you."

"I'll be in the living room when you're done." Seungmin said as he slipped out the door.

After Jeongin slipped the jeans on, a frown fell on his face.

The jeans fit almost perfectly.

How long had it been since these were worn?

The sweater was a different story.

It was quite big on Jeongin, giving him sweater paws.

He eyed the closet, wondering what shoes he was allowed to borrow.

He settled for a random set of gym shoes and left the room.

"Alright, we have to be in our seats by nine." Seungmin handed Jeongin a coat.

Jeongin looked behind him.

A small lamp was left on near the couch. He assumed it was for Missy.

Oh wait- Missy!

How was he supposed to make it through the day without Missy?

Seungmin noticed his distress, "Jeongin, you'll be fine."

They walked to the school in only twenty minutes.

It was nicer than Jeongin's old school. His old school was the only other high school in the area and was filled with punks.

He hoped the people would leave him alone here.

"My first block is Health, I think you'll like the teacher."

Jeongin was lead down a long hallway, his eyes never leaving the ground.

"Oh- and uh- we're going over the drug unit. Just a heads up. If you want we can skip and I can show you the school now instead of at lunch."

Great. Just great.

"No, I'll be fine. Thank you Seungminnie."

"Tell me if you need to leave, okay?"

A small nod and they were walking into the class.

Most of the teens continued to chatter away, only a few shot him weird glances.

They were seniors and v e r y done with school.

"Yo, man! Why were you absent this week?" A student said to Seungmin.

"I moved a few blocks down."

"How'd you manage that?"

"My boyfriends' wanted all of us to live together. It was a lot easier than all of us packing into Chan's house."

Jeongin perked up. He knew they moved, but he had no idea they didn't live together before this. He was also surprised that the other teens didn't laugh at Seungmin for being gay, let alone having more than one boyfriend.

It seemed Seungmin was pretty popular. People kept coming up and talking to him one after the other.

He was pulled from his thoughts with a tap on his shoulder.

Jeongin turned to see Seungmin making a funny face.

Of course Jeongin couldn't cover his mouth in time and he bursted out with a giggle.

His ears immediately went red at the realisation and he covered his face with sweater paws.

Seungmin could be heard chuckling as he sat down next to the younger.

When Jeongin removed his hands from his eyes, he found a few people staring at him. 

The paws returned.

"This is Jeongin." Although the younger couldn't see him, he knew Seungmin was smiling, "He's shadowing me for the day, but he'll eventually transfer."

Did- did you go to the school on the westside of the city? Or did you move here?"

"Uhh.. Westside, why?"

A few gasps were heard.

Seungmin took it upon himself to explain, "There's a stigma around it. Gangs and stuff."

Jeongin's eyes widened, "No, nothing like that! There aren't any gangs on the westside, it's just really poor."

It was hard to explain when the people in front of you looked like they had all been raised by nannies and wrapped in a blanket spun from gold.

Eastside was different.

"Alright kids," A woman's voice called out, "Everyone in your seats."

The bell rung.

Thirty minutes into an eighty-three minute class and Jeongin was already plotting his death.

Mrs. Ken had gone over heroin, lsd, and was now going over cigarettes.

Jeongin could feel the burns on his shoulder start to tingle.

He zoned out for a small time, playing with his fingers.

He couldn't pay attention. If he did, he knew something would trigger him.

Ringing.

The bell had rung and Seungmin was tapping his shoulder.

He had been staring off into nothing for over fifty minutes.

As they entered the hallway, Seungmin started to talk, "My next block is math, then we have lunch."

Walking through groups of kids was easier than Jeongin expected, but he did hear whispers.

Things along the line of, "He's from the westside, they're complete trouble there," or "Do you think he knows Jungwon?"

Jeongin stopped walking.

Seungmin turned, completely confused, "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing, let's just go."

Seungmin didn't buy it at all, but he couldn't make a scene in the hallway.

Seungmin opened the door to math only to watch Jeongin take one peak in and turn right around.

He looked tremendously distressed.

"Seungmin, can I take your earlier offer? Can you show me the school?"

Seungmin's face went blank and he started to drag the boy to the restroom.

Once both were in, Seungmin gestured for Jeongin to start talking.

He didn't.

It took another thirty seconds until Jeongin whispered a small, "Please?"

Seungmin nodded, before even thinking of reaching for the door, he hugged Jeongin.

"I'll show you the art room first. No one's in there until after lunch."

"Thank you." Jeongin spoke even quieter.

It was a silent walk.

Jeongin was feeling extremely guilty about making Seungmin skip class and even worse for not giving him an explanation.

The pair walked down a flight of stairs into the basement of the school, trying their best to avoid any staff.

Once inside the art room, Jeongin started to tear up. He would never show Seungmin of course, he just needed to collect himself for a moment. 

The boy turned to one of the counters, immediately grabbing a pencil from the bin and a sheet of blank white paper.

Seungmin decided it would be better to draw than do nothing, so he grabbed a pencil as well. 

Both teens were now deep in thought.

Jeongin trying to get Jungwon off his mind and Seungmin trying to figure out what was wrong with the younger.

It was almost an hour before anyform of noise broke the silence.

It was Seungmin's phone that caused it.

"Hello?" Seungmin put the phone to his ear, "Sure, that sounds good. I'll tell him."

Seungmin turned to Jeongin, slipping the phone back into his pocket,"Felix and Hyunjin are done with their class at university, they want to take us out for lunch."

"Is that allowed?" 

"Yea, we can leave school grounds during lunch since we're seniors."

"Isn't lunch not for another half hour?"

"Shhh."

And so the boys walked straight out of the main doors and to the pair waiting for them. 

The suburbs were small, so it made getting around without a car easier.

"I called Jisung because he took the car with Changbin and Chan this morning, He's going to pick us up on the corner pretty soon." Hyunjin spoke.

"Where are we going?" Seungmin asked.

"We're gonna go downtown to eat!" Jisung said from the van window as he pulled up.

Everyone pillied in.

"So, Jeongin! How is school so far?" Jisung spoke hopefully.

Seungmin looked at Jeongin with a curious look.

"It was good, Seungmin's a really good mentor."

Seungmin's eyes popped out of his head. He thought back to when he saw the tears in the younger's eyes in the art room. How was that good? He nearly had a breakdown!

"Alright! Yes! Now we just need to find a way to forge a birth certificate!" Jisung joked.

An idea popped into Jeongin's head. He knew how to make the boys happy. He would go get his birth certificate!

It couldn't be that hard to sneak away from the boys.

It took him thirty minutes to walk from his former home into the city when he was kicked out, Jeongin was sure he could be quicker from whatever restaurant they found themselves at.

Jeongin forced a chuckle for Jisung and avoided the suspecting look from Seungmin.

He could deal with bullies at school and the bully at his childhood home if it mean making the boys happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this instead of homework because whoops forgot to post yesterday. My science teacher was talking about space and told us that we're all insignificant, so now I'm having an existential crisis :)) Also I don't proofread because who? has? time?
> 
> My trashy oneshot will be out tomorrow, it's s a d Jeongchan.


	11. Past Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of me ignoring my hw for writing

"So," Seungmin started, "You couldn't get Chan or Changbin to come?"

"Believe me, I tried. I almost got Changbin to the door, but he broke free from my grip." Jisung returned looking disappointed.

"Y-You tried to d r a g him here?" Jeongin questioned in disbelief.

Jisung pushed the wrapper from his straw further onto the table, "Maaaybe." He turned to play with the ketchup bottle.

Suddenly, A Wild Felix Appeared, "Sorry, I had to stay after. My brain couldn't comprehend a n y t h i n g so I had to stay to ask the professor some questions.

Hyunjin laughed, "Maybe if you didn't daydream all the time, then you would understand!"

Felix pouted and trapped Jeongin into the booth by sitting next to him.

Great. Another person for Jeongin to be caught by.

He had to plan an escape.

Maybe he could wait until their order comes back then say he had to use the bathroom.

Jeongin knew they would look for him after about ten minutes. That means he had ten minutes to get as far away from the cafe as possible. He could take the back exit and run like hell.

Jeongin knew he would be confronted and scolded when he returned. Heck, he agreed that he should be. What Jeongin was doing was practically suicide.

He knew the boys would never lay a hand on him, but the irrational part of his brain kept screaming that they would hurt him for leaving.

Looking around at the smiling faces, the faces laughing at Jisung for sticking straws in his nose, the faces that showed him real empathy for the first time in his pitiful life, how could he believe they would do such a thing.

"You okay?" Felix whispered from Jeongin's side.

Even now the boys were concerned.

It was this type of thing that never failed to make Jeongin's heart physically sore.

He didn't know what to call the feeling, but it definitely wasn't bad.

Jeongin had to get that birth certificate. Jeongin had to go to that school.

He had to repay them.

"I'm fine, I'm gonna head to the bathroom." Jeongin's voice came out weakly.

Felix scooted out of the booth, allowing Jeongin to leave. He quirked an eyebrow at the younger's odd behavior, but returned back to his seat.

"Hey guys, I'm a little worried about Jeongin." Seungmin spoke quietly.

"Did something happen at school?" Hyunjin questioned.

"Yes? I mean, I think so.." The others could see the wheels in Seungmin's head turning, "Well... he started to get quiet in the hallway after some kids talked to him about his former school, then when we reached class he looked in and had... It was like he had a look of pure terror on his face. He immediately turned around and when I took him to the art class I saw him tear up. I- I don't know what happened, but something isn't right."

"Well, we've still only just met him, there's a lot of stories that need to be told. I doubt he will tell us everything that pops into his head when we've only known him for a week." Hyunjin explained.

Nods circled the table and a waitress showed up.

"Order eight, right?"

Food was distributed and the talking died down.

"Has Jeongin not come back yet? It's been like ten minutes. His food is already getting cold." Jisung hummed in confusion.

"I'll go check on him." Felix offered, already standing up.

Seungmin could feel his gut churn. 

Why did he think something was wrong?

Felix, also feeling an unexplainable dread, walked rather quickly.

The dread turned into alarm as Felix swung the door open and laid eyes on a deserted restroom.

Felix ran straight back to the table.

His voice was panicked and slightly higher pitched as he spoke, "Jeongin isn't here!"

Three faces morphed into surprise.

"We-We have to find him! What if something bad happened?!"

"Alright, Felix. Come sit for a second." Hyunjin tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"What?!"

"I'm gonna call Chan and Changbin to help us look for him alright?"

Felix reluctantly obeyed.

Chan picked up on the fourth ring, "Hyunjin, please tell me this is of utmost importance."

"I need you and Changbin to meet us in the giant park downtown. We were eating lunch at a cafe and Jeongin just disappeared."

Chan was silent for a moment, "We'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you! I haven't told Minho or Woojin, but I don't think we should either. They're together and I think it's best for Minho if he doesn't know we'll all be scanning the streets for a missing friend."

"Good, good. Alright we've called a cab and we'll see you shortly."

The line went dead and Hyunjin looked to the boys, "We're meeting at the park and we'll scan from there."

Jisung pulled out his wallet and left a few bills on the table before grabbing Felix and Seungmin's arms.

Hyunjin led the way down the block.

-

Jeongin really wished he had thought things through.

He was now walking down the block of his former house and shaking violently.

Maybe it was exhaustion for running for such a long distance on so little energy, or maybe it was the feeling of impending doom. 

Jeongin silently hoped his mother wasn't home. He could sneak past his dad if he was too drunk to stand or if he was sleeping, but with his mother that wasn't the case.

She would hold him down and alert his dad if she saw him.

He had to go through the backdoor if he wanted to make it in one piece to the upper level.

As he reached the house, Jeongin saw it was just as ugly as he remembered.

The roof desperately needed shingles and the grass was up to his knees. The chipped paint flew off the building with each gust of wind. Jeongin saw it as a reflection of the pain inside the house.

Sneaking around the side into the backyard was easy, he had perfected it as a small child when he wanted to go to the park without being yelled at.

Looking through the back windows, Jeongin planned his route to the upstairs bedrooms.

There was a box of documents in the back of his mother's closet. His birth certificate was bound to be somewhere in there.

As slow as he possibly could, Jeongin started to slide the glass door open. 

When it was large enough to get inside, the boy dropped to the ground and crawled behind the kitchen counters. 

He could hear the tv. His father was definitely home. His mom never watched tv.

For the first time in his life, Jeongin cursed off an architect.

Why must h i s kitchen be so observable from the living room.

Who makes floor plans like these anymore?

He quickly peaked over to the couch.

His father was passed out with a beer in hand, some spilled onto the carpet.

Jeongin hoped his mother wasn't in her room.

Jeongin stood up and shuffled to the stairs.

As he went up, he made sure to skip every one that creaked.

Jeongin heard the shower turn on and breathed a sigh of relief.

His mother always took long showers.

Down the hall Jeongin went. 

He left the door open so he could hear outside noise and opened the closet.

The old cardboard bin was still there. 

Prying it open and blowing off the dust, Jeongin flipped through all the files.

Late bills, taxes, a car payment, blah blah blah.

Ah! Here we go.

A file named 'Burn'. 

This looked promising.

Jeongin found an old marriage certificate and a small book.

When he unclasped the leather strap, a small paper fell out.

Upon closer inspection a face appeared.

It was bruised and bloody.

It was an old police report. The book was filled with pictures and writings on the investigation.

Jeongin's teacher had once called the police on his parents and Jeongin had lied.

He should have told the truth then. He shouldn't have let his father scare him into silence. 

He could've gotten out of so many future hardships.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Jeongin's blood ran cold.

He should've closed the door. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

He should've closed the door.

He could hear the blow before he felt it. 

His mother's hand came barreling down a second time. 

She always went for his neck.

Jeongin could feel her nails digging into his skin.

He let out a pained gasp and quickly brought his hand to protect his face.

"Why are you back!? Why are you in my-"

A shatter silenced the two.

Long heavy steps made their way up the stairs.

His mother smirked, "You woke up your father."

Jeongin wasted no time in grabbing the small leather book along with the paper and running out into the hallway. He used a free hand to wipe the blood running down his neck and choked down a sob.

Bloodshot eyes stared straight into his soul.

Jeongin ran for his old bedroom.

He locked the door and fell to the ground in one swift motion.

Adrenaline ate his being and the boy was left heaving for air. His shaking could've moved the house on it's own.

How was he going to leave? He was a story up and the only way down were the stairs being blocked by his abusers.

Had he even been able to find his birth certificate?

Jeongin turned to the book. 

Pages and pages of pain were flipped through.

Pages and pages that reminded him of his inability to be brave. 

His inability to be anything other than a coward, afraid to speak up.

A yellow paper caught his eye when flipping through the last few pages. 

Finally.

His birth certificate in all it's dusty glory taped to the inside of the back.

Banging on his door made Jeongin jump.

"Let me in or it'll be worse when I break through the door." His father's words came out slurred and choppy.

Jeongin dusted himself off and stood quickly.

His legs faltered for a moment, but he caught himself on his dresser.

The banging had already started to get louder.

Jeongin had minutes to decide what he would do.

The stairs weren't an option anymore and his closet would put him in a worse position.

Window.

He could jump out the window.

Yes, it could definitely kill him or injure him in ways it would take months to recover, but Jeongin didn't care.

Death was always an option in his book.

The boy had always planned suicide as his choice of death. 

He was sitting on the window-sill, feet dangling, deciding how to land.

"Jeongin?" A voice called, seemingly far away.

Great, he was imagining things. The stress and adrenaline were making voices again.

"Jeongin!?" The voice was louder.

Maybe he wasn't imagining things.

Jeongin turned his head and looked to the sidewalk.

He met eyes with a distraught Chan.

"Oh my god," The elder ran to the window, "We've been looking for you for an hour! Why are you hanging half out a window?!" There was no anger in his voice, only tears and concern.

A voice boomed from behind Jeongin out into the open air, "I'm breaking down the door! You asked for what's coming next!"

Chan's eyes came to a realization, "Jeongin jump." He blurted, "I swear I'll catch you, but please jump!"

And so he did.

Just as Jeongin's father reached the window, the boy was flying down to safety.

Chan caught the younger with a groan.

At least he didn't weight much.

Chan stopped moving when he met eyes with Jeongin's dad.

He couldn't help the scowl that filled his face when he saw the man.

Jeongin's dad clearly didn't enjoy it because he soon turned to run out of the room.

"I'm gonna call the boys and we're gonna go home, okay?" Chan said as he started rushing away from the house.

"I'm sorry.." 

"We'll talk when we get home." 

Chan reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone.

He dialed a number quickly and put the device to his ear.

After a single ring, it picked up, "I've got him. We're on the street next to Geo's Liquor Store. Are the rest with you? Okay, hurry please." 

End call.

Jeongin pushed his face further into Chan and clutched his book, "I'm so sorry."

Chan could feel the tears, but he said nothing.

"I know, Baby. I promise no one's really mad, we're just really worried. We have a few questions for when we get back, okay"

Jeongin nodded.

Just then, the front door swung open, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 2k words of t r a s h. Honestly I kinda hate how I wrote this, but hopefully y'all aren't too disappointed! I may rewrite this in the future. I'm open to requests for chapters if any of you have something in mind!
> 
> I'm high-key sad (Read; I've been crying for days) Stray Kids aren't coming to Chicago for their Unveil.


	12. Why'd You Do That?

Chan turned towards the noise, tightening his grip around Jeongin.

"I asked you something, boy. Are you gonna respond? Or do I have to beat it out of you?"

"Jeongin get behind me." Chan rushed as he set the boy on the ground.

Jeongin didn't move. 

He couldn't move.

It was so much different when it was him inside the house.

He knew the beatings were unavoidable, so he never fought it.

But now, Chan was the one in danger.

And couldn't stand the mere thought of it.

"Leave him alone."

Both Jeongin's father and Chan grew wide eyes.

Neither man had seen this side of Jeongin.

"Oh I see!" The drunken man exclaimed, "This is your boyfriend! How fitting for you. Is that where you ran off to? Into the arms of a fellow fruit?"

"Jeongin don't, it's fine-"

The younger boy marched right up to his father, staring him down in a way that would make even the most intimidating man cower.

"Keep in mind that you were the one who created this fag."

His eyes burned in hatred toward the man. The man who was supposed to be there for him. The man who was supposed to raise him and love him like a normal father.

Chan was there to catch Jeongin when the fist met his stomach. When the nails raked his hip.

"You little-"

Suddenly, Jeongin's father was on the ground.

Chan and Jeongin looked in surprise at the figure holding the man down.

"You no good- low life- rat-" Minho grunted with each punch, "What the fuck- Is wrong- with you! You hurt your child! Your son! With no remorse! Do everyone a favour and crawl back to the cesspool! We- don't want- your presence- to taint the- Earth!" He finished with a blow to the nose.

Chan turned in time to see his boyfriends getting out of the car.

Woojin walked straight up to Jeongin's father, helping Minho up before taking his spot.

"If I ever see you again, If anyone of my lovers so much catches a glimpse of you on the street, If Jeongin ever has to lay his beautiful eyes on your repulsive form, I will carve out your eyes and make you swallow them before I break every bone in your nauseating body."

The group stared in awe at Woojin's words.

Jeongin buried his face into Chan's chest while holding the book to his injured stomach.

He let out a quiet whine, but it was heard by everyone.

"We're going home, baby. Don't worry." Hyunjin gave a sad smile.

Jeongin was dreading the talk he knew would come.

"Is that your mother?" Woojin asked while pointing to the front door.

Jeongin whipped his head around and subconsciously squeezed Chan a little tighter.

Chan could almost sob at that.

Jeongin gave a small confirmation towards the woman standing in the door frame.

Woojin stood up and walked towards her.

The woman was clearly scared, but she made no effort to move.

"I'll call the cops! You just beat up my husband!"

Everyone looked at her in complete shock.

"You-" a small chuckle escaped, "You want to call the police and tell them that you beat your child, be my guest. I'll gladly spend a few weeks in jail if it means you and your husband get life.

The woman huffed and quickly made her way into the house.

"That's what I thought."

Woojin led the boys back to the car.

It was twenty minutes of silence to get back to the dorm. 

The silence only broke when the door opened, "Everyone to the living room." Seungmin directed.

Everyone quickly sat down.

Minho had taken Jeongin from Chan in the car, likely too anxious to handle himself.

"Why?" Seungmin tried to keep his voice at a level he knew wouldn't scare Jeongin, "Why'd you run off? Especially run off and go there?"

"I-" Jeongin stops himself. He decides to show them instead and opens the book he'd been protecting.

He grasped the pale yellow paper then held his arm out, offering it to anyone that wanted to see it.

Hyunjin made the first move.

"This- This is- Jeongin-"

Hyunjin passed the paper and got up to hug the younger.

Jeongin may have flinched slightly, but he opened the man with open arms.

One by one, everyone saw the paper.

"You went to that asshole's house for your birth certificate?" Felix was the first to cry.

Jeongin nodded and Minho took the younger's hand into his own.

"Why'd you do that, Sweetie?"

 Jeongin stared at the floor, "Y-You wanted me to go to that school. I wanted- I wanted to make you happy..." The last sentence came out almost silent.

"Baby..." Chan spoke.

"Seungmin told us you acted a bit off at school today. Is that because you were planning this?" Minho rubbed Jeongin's back.

Jeongin perked up immediately, "No! I mean- no, It was something else- I mean! Ugh.."

Way to blow it Jeongin.

"We'll revisit this later then." Minho wiped the tears Jeongin didn't know had started.

"You should have never done that. You were about to jump out of your window to escape them Jeongin! What if I hadn't been there!?" Chan's voice raised and the other boys perked at the new information.

Jeongin didn't speak.

How would he tell them that he didn't care if he landed wrong and broke his neck?

How would he tell them that he wouldn't mind dying?

"What's in the book, honey?" Changbin questioned lightly as if worrying the younger would shut them out.

Everyone then noticed the book that Jeongin was protecting.

"Oh, it's n-nothing really," he forced a chuckle, "my birth certificate was in it, I thought this would be easier to carry."

In all honesty, Jeongin had no idea why he kept the book.

"Can we see it?" Changbin furthered.

"Uh... I don't wanna make you sad."

Eight pairs of eyebrows furrowed in concern and confusion.

"Please?"

Jeongin let the book be taken from his arms.

The boys huddled around the couch- huddled around Jeongin to look at it.

"Oh my god!" It sounded like Felix.

"Why weren't they arrested?!" Minho's chest rumbled, shaking Jeongin.

Jeongin felt the need to say something, "I've had way worse-" he realized what he said, "I mean- uh-"

Eight pairs of arms wrapped around each other.

"I mean- oh god, why am I so stupid!" Jeongin struck himself.

He aimed for another blow, but his hands were quickly taken into two other boys.

"Stop! You're hurting yourself!" Seungmin scolded.

Jeongin was lifted into Woojin's arms, he sat on his hip like a child would.

"I think we should check your stomach, hon. We saw you get hit by that man."

Jeongin nodded, furiously wiping away tears.

The boys popped their heads in from the doorway while Woojin sat him on the bathtub.

"Are you okay with undressing? It's fine if not, I can manage."

Jeongin nodded once more, not wanting Woojin to deal with any more fuss.

Yes, he was extremely uncomfortable with all the men staring at his broken figure, but why would he protest? The voice in his head constantly repeated,

' _You still owe them_ '

Woojin was nice enough to help him take off his shirt, a gesture Jeongin felt warm at.

The bruise was sizable, purple, and giving off quite the temperature.

"We have to patch these scratches."

"They'll be fine." Jeongin spoke up.

"What?"

"I just need to rinse them and put some antibacterial cream on them. It'll take forever to scab if we cover them now."

Jeongin's brain went on autopilot. The initial discomfort washed away when Jeongin turned on the sink.

He wiped the marks clean and searched under the sink for a first aid kid.

He missed the shocked faces.

He missed the sad look Woojin gave the others before he stepped into view.

"Baby," Woojin soothed, "Let me do this."

Jeongin just stared into his eyes, not understanding.

He could sense Woojin hugging him, but he didn't really  _feel_ it.

It was like Jeongin's brain started to float.

The bathroom lights seemed to mush together and voices skipped right past his ears.

What was happening?

His breathing started speeding up.

His eyes desperately scanned the blurriness for any sort of shape to make out.

His hands found their way to his hair, gripping tightly and pulling.

Jeongin could feel the body once hugging him, lowering him to the ground.

Everything was starting to go black, which made Jeongin's breathing go even faster.

He dug his fingers into thin thighs, too far gone to realize who was witnessing his breakdown.

_Snap_

Fingers started to form.

_Snap_

The body connected to it followed.

_Snap_

Minho?

Why was Minho trapped in the vast blur with him?

"-by, come on."

Jeongin followed the voice, comforted by the undertones of love.

"Baby, you gotta breathe."  
  
Breathe?

Wasn't he doing that?

Infact- Wasn't he doing that too much? His lungs felt like fire and his mouth was barren.

"Don't hold your breath, silly."

Well which is it, Minho?

"Match me.."

Jeongin tried.

His coughs and wheezes for air got in the way a few times, but he was almost matching.

"Good, that's good! Now I need you to loosen your hands a bit, bub."

His hands?

He looked down.

Oh god.

Jeongin wasn't clawing into his skin anymore, he was clawing into Minho's.

"I-I'm so- Min- Sorry."

"Hey, that's fine!" Minho's voice was calm.

Jeongin looked around, the faces were all coming into view again.

Some looked scared, others looked sad.

Jeongin quickly ducked his head, embarrassed of the vulnerability.

"Prince?" Changbin's voice boomed out.

He didn't look up. He just kept staring at his hands.

The hands that hurt Minho.

"Look at me."

Jeongin wouldn't dare.

A hand grabbed his chin and lifted it up.

Jeongin shut his eyes.

He wouldn't open his eyes.

How could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the darker chapter! Kind of a bad week, needed to vent. Y'all surprised it was Minho that kicked Yang's ass? Cuz I would totally expect that spitfire to d e s t r o y someone for his family. Protective Stray Kids gives me life. 
> 
> It was Jeonginnie's birthday this week!!!!! I'm quaking!! He's such a cutie! And stray kids tackling him with a cake is a mood.
> 
>  
> 
> (Any Armys out there- bts were at the grammys tonight!)


	13. Eye Contact? Who's She?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being absent for so long sksksk this chapter is a tad longer as a small apology. I'm not the p r o u d e s t of this sorry my dudes

Jeongin tossed the entire night, never finding comfort in the cold bed.

The others let him be alone per request, but he could still hear the footsteps outside his door every few hours. He could still hear the faint squeak of the door when it cracked open.

They had to  _check_ on him.

Whatever trust was there to begin was now abolished.

Jeongin turned over once more.

At this rate it'll be sunrise before he even gets to blink.

The same thought kept crossing his mind, "You're turning into your father."

It pained him deeply.

Jeongin, the once resilient boy, had succumb to his history and was repeating the actions done to him.

Ask anyone else and they would immediately defend the younger: saying he didn't mean it, that he wasn't trying to.

But Jeongin's mind couldn't shake the image of when he looked down to see his hands  _sinking into_  Minho's arm.

He  _hurt_ him.

Yes, he wasn't aware at the time, but neither was his father.

Jeongin's father was always  _drunk._

The old man was never in the right mind and he had hurt him just the same.

A soft sob released itself into a pillow.

His shoulders shook with grief.

The same squeak from the door was heard again.

"Innie?"

Jeongin stilled, feeling a slight relief when he realized he wasn't facing the door.

He couldn't let Changbin see him cry.

"I know you're awake.."

He sounded hesitant.

Why did Changbin sound hesitant?

"Can I sleep with you? Felix is.... well let's just say he needs to be alone right now, and you're room is the least full.

Jeongin didn't trust his voice, so he instead scooted forward on the mattress.

Changbin got the message.

"Thank you, prince. We have a couple more hours till we have to be up, so try to sleep."

Maybe it was the calmness of Changbin's fingers trailing on Jeongin's arms or maybe it was the reassurance that he was simply there, but Jeongin found himself growing more and more tired.

Changbin's humming was the last he heard before he was out.

Changbin followed soon after.

\- - - - -

"Should we really be going to work today?" Minho rubbed the back of his neck, the anxiety was starting to grow at the thought of leaving Jeongin  _and_ Felix alone the entire day.

"Hyunjin's gonna stay home from classes to watch them, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind having another person to keep him company." Woojin took Minho's hands into his own.

"I can stay home?"

"Honestly, I might stay home too. I'm sure your boss won't care if you take a sick day and mine owes me a favor, so we're set."

"Now all we need to do is feed the rascals, then we can call Dr. Tsu. I'm sure they won't be up for another half hour."

They went to work.

Minho mixed the pancake batter, while Woojin manned the stove.

"Chocolate chips or blueberry?"

"Both."

Laughter filled the kitchen.

"Of course you'd suggest that, Wooj. As indecisive as ever!" Minho giggled, "I'm gonna wake them up, can you get the plates down?" Minho set the last pancake down onto a makeshift paper towel platter.

"Of course."

And with that, Woojin turned down the hallway.

He opted for Seungmin's room first, knowing the boy took a while to get ready for school.

"Honey?" He peaked his head in and cooed at the sight before him.

Hyunjin, Jisung, and Seungmin were all wrapped around each other in a giant pile.

"They're cute right?"

Woojin jumped.

He turned to his right and saw Chan patting Missy on the other bed.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" Woojin walked over with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Please, I'm holding the cat! Think about this!"

It was too late.

Missy screeched and jumped off the bed when Woojin leaped onto Chan.

Cries of laughter escaped Chan's lips as Woojin pecked small kisses all over his face.

"What a sight to wake up to." Hyunjin sighed fondly.

"Stop being so gay, I'm trying to sleep!" Seungmin rolled over.

"Nuh-uh bub, you gotta get ready for school." Woojin stood from the bed, trying his hardest to not coo at the noise of disagreement Chan made.

Seungmin groaned.

"Minho and I made pancakes?" Woojin tested.

"What... kind?" Chan inquired.

"Blueberry and chocolate chip."

"Every man for himself.." Chan whispered before bolting toward the door, doing a double take when Jisung passed him.

"I swear..." Woojin mumbled.

Now he had to wake Changbin and Jeongin.

"Binnie? You in here?" He said when he reached the youngest's bedroom.

A rough grunt gave him all the conformation he needed.

"You sound like a boar." Woojin deadpanned.

Changbin's face dusted red, but he made no attempt to move.

"What time did you two babies fall asleep?"

"Like," a yawn, "two-ish and a half hours ago."

"Dear lord, what am I going to do with you?"

"You could carry me and Jeong to the table?"

"Nice try, but my back doesn't feel like  _shattering_  today."

"We're not  _that_ heavy." Changbin pouted.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm not  _that_ strong."

"Hmph."

"Alright, you both better be in chairs at the table in five minutes or I'm coming back with Minho."

"Noooo! He's gonna do some crazy shit like pour water on us!"

"Then be there in less than five minutes."

Woojin walked out and Changbin let out a fake choke before pretending to die.

"Alright, you heard the man. Wake up, kid." Changbin shook Jeongin gently.

Jeongin's eyes peeled open, revealing their bloodshot surface to the world.

Changbin's heart hurt a bit at that.

How long had he been crying yesterday after he went to bed?

"Oh baby..."

Jeongin's eyes lowered before they could meet Changbin's.

"You up for food?"

A shake of the head.

"It's still a good idea to eat something. Let's get you a water, yeah?"

Jeongin let himself be manhandled into a position where Changbin could lift him by the waist and both boys started walking to the kitchen.

The youngest didn't catch the eyes of the others staring at him, too busy watching his feet.

He took an empty chair and pulled his knees to his chest.

"Doesn't this all look great? Thank you two!" Hyunjin chirped, clearly wanting to lighten the mood.

"Where's Felix? He better still not be sleeping." Jisung laughed.

"Oh, uh, Felix had an episode sometime last night." Woojin explained.

"Yeah, he kicked me out before the sun even came up." Changbin confirmed.

"We're calling Dr. Tsu after breakfast." Minho reassured the boys that were hearing of this for the first time.

Jeongin, not understanding what was happening, widened his eyes in shock.

Episode? That can mean so many things! Does he have epilepsy? Is he bipolar? 

Chan caught the confusion in the younger and explained, "He'll probably tell you about if you just ask him later. He trusts you."

"After what I did yesterday?"

Jeongin shocked himself. How did that leave his mouth? He didn't even think before blurting out such a thing!

Everyone at the table was taken back.

"We all still trust you, Jeongin." Minho said with a serious tone after some silence had past.

"Yeah, I mean, you left so that you could  _stay_ with us and make us  _happy_. We know you wouldn't go back to that house just  _because_." Seungmin stared at Jeongin.

"Then why did you keep checking on me last night?"

Another slip. Another wave of silence.

"We- I- someone take over." Woojin choked out.

"We wanted to make sure you... weren't gonna hurt yourself again." Changbin explained, "So, yes, there was one thing we didn't trust you on, but it was more of making sure you didn't disassociate type thing."

"I'm so stupid." Jeongin whispered. Barely anyone could hear it.

But Minho heard it.

And because Minho heard it, Jeongin was being dragged by the wrist back to his bedroom.

"We're gonna have a little chat, be back in a moment, guys."

Minho sat Jeongin on the bed before taking a seat on a nearby chair; Not wanting to overcrowd the already anxious teen.

"Why are you putting yourself down?"

Jeongin continued to stare at the ground.

"You aren't stupid in the slightest, Jeongin. I need you to know that." Minho assured.

"Look at me, Jeongin."

The younger made no movement.

"You haven't looked me in the eye since yesterday. Why is that?"

"I don't deserve it."

Minho nodded, urging Jeongin to continue.

He didn't.

"What's going on in that brain of yours?" Minho moved from the chair to the bed.

"I- I hurt you yesterday." Jeongin wiped at his face desperately, trying to remove the tears that started.

"You didn't mean it."

"It still happened!" He got louder.

"What else? I know there's something deeper to this."

Silence.

Minho spoke again, softer, "Please, baby. I want to help you and I can't do that unless you let me."

"I don't want to be my father." He whispered.

Minho looked over in shock.

How the hell could such a sweet boy think such a thing?

"And I don't want to keep causing problems."

Minho was about to speak, but was interrupted with another sentence.

"You've taken me into your home and all I've done is cause problems. I have too much baggage, Minnie, you should give up on me now."

That blank look was back in Jeongin's eyes. The same look that scared the boys yesterday.

"Stay with me for this, Jeong," Minho grabbed the younger's hand, "Every single one of us in this household has some sort of issue. Jisung's still getting over an eating disorder, Hyunjin has an abusive ex, Felix has ptsd from an assault, fuck, I get crippling anxiety when someone is in the bathroom too long. Do you really think that we'd blame you for what you've gone through? People can't just get over trauma like that, Innie. If we really had a problem with it, then you would probably have returned to the streets or something and I wouldn't be with any of my boyfriends."

Jeongin stopped trying to hide his tears.

"And you will  _never_  be your father.  _Ever_. In the short time i've known you, I can see the sweet boy you are.  _I_  was the one to offer my hand in place of yours. You were panicking and needed something to ground yourself, you didn't mean it and I understand that. I know this isn't something you can just get over, but  _please come to us_ when you start thinking this way."

Minho opened his arms, a silent way of asking for the other's embrace.

Jeongin looked up and  _finally_ met Minho's eyes. They were both crying at this point.

In a split second, Jeongin was launching himself at the other.

His arms wrapped around the waist of the elder and they stayed in that position.

Minho continued to whisper reassurances to the other until Woojin came to bring them their leftover breakfast.

It was a long morning, and it was sure to get longer.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love f i n a l l y using bits of the foreshadowing from earlier chapters. Y'all are gon see some Felix next chapter I swear don'tbemad. 
> 
> Y ' A L L I'm seeing skz in newark on the 14th. It's a miracle, idk how it happened. I'm going alone though, so rip me. If you or anyone you know wants to meet up with a cringy gay boy so anxiety doesn't consume him, I'm waiting. (That sounds so sketchy wth)

**Author's Note:**

> Whaddup, thanks for reading.


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